Oftentimes, I find myself alone.
It’s been a year since my friends and I separated because, of course, school is over and we had to go fulfill our family duties and go our separate ways. Reality has never slapped me this hard. However, I was determined that from every ending sparks a new beginning. I began learning a lot of things on my own and when I am alone, I talk to myself (the good kind, okay, I’m not that crazy). In my solitude, I began asking myself about my decisions in life and what has become of it. Life, as I knew it, was different now. Thus, I am making an alone series not only to help myself sort myself out but hopefully help people like me too.
Braving the Seas
Everything seems to be fine. You do you. Everywhere is a whole new world that you get to explore, every restaurant, coffee shop, museum, and whatnot are uncharted seas that await your arrival. It is fun and daunting but you come to realize and think “Oh, I have no one here to share my experience. I am a lone captain without a crew. Nobody to share my treasures with.”
Working It Out
From that point, you feel alone again. Every inch of you itches to be with your friends. But you pick yourself up again and try again. “Who needs friends! I can focus on my career 24/7, more time for me, more achievements to make, more, more, and more.” And so you work.
Habitual, Recurring, and Same. Routine, your worst nightmare, is actually happening. You hate it but there’s almost nothing you can do about it. Almost.
Slowly, you ease yourself into the thought of being independent. Independence, biggest word you’ll ever face, it’s like closing your eyes and jumping off a cliff without any thought about the bottom. The bottom may either be a field of roses, a pool of sharks and electric eels, or heaps of big marshmallows. You’ll never know if you refuse to take that leap.
Answers? I don’t have answers yet. It is something I am yet to discover my own uncharted seas. I can’t find myself yet. I have a lot of unanswered questions floating in my mind. Some questions more difficult than any exam I’ve done. Maybe in the next post, there might be some light.
Yep, everything’s ok.